Training's getting more and more packed. There's not much time for self reflection. And I've seriously no appetite for anything at any given point of time. Surviving on just fruits and drinks in the camp, I seriously dunno how long I can last. What kept me going are the people around me that I cherish. 15kg has been gone since I've entered NS. But I know that I'm not as healthy as before I joined NS. Both physically and mentally.

I'm seriously... tired. Tired from all the routines and sick of this time wasting shit. Mentally. I'm seeking for a mind's runaway. Sometimes I even have this stupid thinking of why, why am I born healthy? Why am I not born with defects so that I do not have to serve this crap. Because of NS, I feel that I'm beginning to distant away from my frens. Especially the 2 amazing ladies, both pretties. Though both are busy in their respective area of work, thanks for the little amount of concern you've shown me. It really make me feels that I'm not alone. As well as the other aircons. I admit I do not have a lot of frens, so thanks... for just being there.

Home does not feel like home anymore. It's no longer a place where I can come back to whenever I've feeling down and lost. Only being able to come back during the weekends, it's more like a place of luxury where I know my time in there is limited. It's really a torture during the weekdays, but it's not really a pleasurable thing at the weekends. At this point of time, I have no place where I can call 'home'...

Penned by: Kirra